


The Taste of Justice

by completelyhopeless



Series: Coulson's pet 0-8-4 [8]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, coulson's pet 0-8-4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:39:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2756462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>H.Y.D.R.A. has many heads. They don't taste like spaghetti, though, and it's a shame because furball!Bucky likes spaghetti.</p>
<p>He does not like H.Y.D.R.A.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Taste of Justice

**Author's Note:**

> I was only mostly joking about doing a "meanwhile on the other side of the galaxy" piece last night, but between the way I got a headache every time I tried to write anything down and the old guy who creeped on me at work earlier, today is a day where if I manage anything, it will be crack fic.
> 
> So, if anyone was ever curious about what goes on in furball!Bucky's head...

* * *

Bucky has a name that is not Bucky.

He does not object to being called Bucky, though, because he thinks it is the closest humans could ever come to his real name. Some humans are nice, but on the whole, he thinks they're kind of silly.

* * *

It might surprise people to know that Bucky's favorite meal is spaghetti with meatballs.

He is a giant ball of fur. There should be some kind of rule against him having spaghetti, and it's true that he almost ate Budapest, but he doesn't like Budapest. He likes spaghetti. He likes the noodles and the sauce, and his mate likes to clean him off afterward. That is her favorite way of eating spaghetti, though sometimes they push around the meatballs with their noses.

Yes, they do have noses.

People smell very funny and bad, so they don't like to bring their noses out of their fur. It is safer to only smell their own kind.

Phil doesn't smell bad. Bucky likes the way Phil smells. Bucky thinks it is the suit.

* * *

Bucky does not like H.Y.D.R.A. Some of H.Y.D.R.A. wear suits, but they are not like Phil.

They are evil.

And they smell.

They taste worse than they smell, but Bucky knows how long it takes for him to digest anything, so he thinks they deserve it.

* * *

Bucky knows when Phil worries about him. He knows when Phil wants him to come back and when Phil needs him. Phil is human and unfortunately very fragile.

Furballs are indestructible. Few people know this.

Few people know that they are not really furballs but something else. They do not speak of such things to humans because humans are sometimes cute but unfortunately somewhat stupid. 

Phil is not stupid. Phil has nice stories and a soothing voice. He smells nice and is good to his other humans. Most humans do not deserve this, but Bucky likes that Phil has friends. He likes Phil's friends. He has suggestions for Phil for who his mate should be, but Phil never listens.

Phil is very stubborn.

* * *

Bucky is more stubborn, though.

He will eat entire cities if he has to, if that is what he needs to do, and since H.Y.D.R.A. hurt his family and his friend Phil and Phil's friends. H.Y.D.R.A. must be stopped, and eating them ensures that they will never rise again.

Bucky hates indigestion, but he knows how to eat.

He wishes H.Y.D.R.A tasted more like spaghetti, though.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure where the term "meanwhile on the other side of the galaxy" comes from. I tried to look it up, but I didn't get anywhere with that. Maybe it was at work or maybe it's from something to do with Star Wars. Since it's probably not a familiar term, it's kind of like "meanwhile, back on the ranch" only it must have been in some kind of scifi with the other side of the galaxy. Or maybe it's just something someone made up and I heard and liked. I don't remember anymore.


End file.
